- said the Guard, putting his head in at the
window. In a moment everybody was holding out a ticket: they were about
the same size as the people, and quite seemed to fill the carriage.
- Now then! Show your ticket, child! - the Guard went on, looking
angrily at Alice. And a great many voices all said together ( - like the
chorus of a song, - thought Alice), - Don't keep him waiting, child! Why,
his time is worth a thousand pounds a minute!
- I'm afraid I haven't got one, - Alice said in a frightened tone: -
there wasn't a ticket-office where I came from." And again the chorus of
voices went on. - There wasn't room for one where she came from. The land
there is worth a thousand pounds an inch!
- Don't make excuses, - said the Guard: - you should have bought one
from the engine-driver. - And once more the chorus of voices went on with
- The man that drives the engine. Why, the smoke alone is worth a thousand
pounds a puff!
Alice thought to herself, - Then there's no use in speaking." The
voices didn't join in this time, as she hadn't spoken, but to her great
surprise, they all THOUGHT in chorus (I hope you understand what THINKING
IN CHORUS means - for I must confess that _I_ don't), - Better say nothing
at all. Language is worth a thousand pounds a word!
- I shall dream about a thousand pounds tonight, I know I shall!
thought Alice.
All this time the Guard was looking at her, first through a
telescope, then through a microscope, and then through an operaglass. At
last he said, - You're travelling the wrong way, - and shut up the window
and went away.
- So young a child, - said the gentleman sitting opposite to her (he
was dressed in white paper), - ought to know which way she's going, even
if she doesn't know her own name!
A Goat, that was sitting next to the gentleman in white, shut his
eyes and said in a loud voice, - She ought to know her way to the
ticket-office, even if she doesn't know her alphabet!
There was a Beetle sitting next to the Goat (it was a very queer
carriage-full of passengers altogether), and, as the rule seemed to be
that they should all speak in turn, HE went on with - She'll have to go
back from here as luggage!
Alice couldn't see who was sitting beyond the Beetle, but a hoarse
voice spoke next. - Change engines - it said, and was obliged to leave
off.
- It sounds like a horse, - Alice thought to herself. And an
extremely small voice, close to her ear, said, - You might make a joke on
that - something about "horse" and "hoarse," you know.
Then a very gentle voice in the distance said, - She must be labelled
"Lass, with care," you know
And after that other voices went on (What a number of people there
are in the carriage! - thought Alice), saying, - She must go by post, as
she's got a head on her - She must be sent as a message by the telegraph -
She must draw the train herself the rest of the way - and so on.
But the gentleman dressed in white paper leaned forwards and
whispered in her ear, - Never mind what they all say, my dear, but take a
return-ticket every time the train stops."
- Indeed I shan't! - Alice said rather impatiently. - I don't belong
to this railway journey at all - I was in a wood just now - and I wish I
could get back there.
- You might make a joke on THAT, said the little voice close to her
ear: - something about "you WOULD if you could," you know.
- Don't tease so, - said Alice, looking about in vain to see where
the voice came from; - if you're so anxious to have a joke made, why don't
you make one yourself?
The little voice sighed deeply: it was VERY unhappy, evidently, and
Alice would have said something pitying to comfort it, - If it would only
sigh like other people! - she thought. But this was such a wonderfully
small sigh, that she wouldn't have heard it at all, if it hadn't come
QUITE close to her ear. The consequence of this was that it tickled her
ear very much, and quite took off her thoughts from the unhappiness of the
poor little creature.
- I know you are a friend, the little voice went on; - a dear friend,
and an old friend. And you won't hurt me, though I AM an insect.
- What kind of insect? - Alice inquired a little anxiously. What she
really wanted to know was, whether it could sting or not, but she thought
this wouldn't be quite a civil question to ask.
- What, then you don't - the little voice began, when it was drowned
by a shrill scream from the engine, and everybody jumped up in alarm,
Alice among the rest.
The Horse, who had put his head out of the window, quietly drew it in
and said, - It's only a brook we have to jump over. - Everybody seemed
satisfied with this, though Alice felt a little nervous at the idea of
trains jumped at all. - However, it'll take us into the Fourth Square,
that's some comfort! - she said to herself. In another moment she felt the
carriage rise straight up into the air, and in her fright she caught at
the thing nearest to her hand. which happened to be the Goat's beard.

* * * * * * *
* * * * * *
* * * * * * *

But the beard seemed to melt away as she touched it, and she found
herself sitting quietly under a tree - while the Gnat (for that was the
insect she had been talking to) was balancing itself on a twig just over
her head, and fanning her with its wings.
It certainly was a VERY large Gnat: - about the size of a chicken,
Alice thought. Still, she couldn't feel nervous with it, after they had
been talking together so long.
- then you don't like all insects? - the Gnat went on, as quietly as
if nothing had happened.
- I like them when they can talk, - Alice said. - None of them ever
talk, where _I_ come from.
- What sort of insects do you rejoice in, where YOU come from? - the
Gnat inquired.
- I don't REJOICE in insects at all, - Alice explained, - because I'm
rather afraid of them - at least the large kinds. But I can tell you the
names of some of them."
- Of course they answer to their names? - the Gnat remarked
carelessly.
- I never knew them do it.
- What's the use of their having names the Gnat said, - if they won't
answer to them?
- No use to THEM, - said Alice; - but it's useful to the people who
name them, I suppose. If not, why do things have names at all?
- I can't say, - the Gnat replied. - Further on, in the wood down
there, they've got no names - however, go on with your list of insects:
you're wasting time.
- Well, there's the Horse-fly, - Alice began, counting off the names
on her fingers.
- All right, - said the Gnat: - half way up that bush, you'll see a
Rocking-horse-fly, if you look. It's made entirely of wood, and gets about
by swinging itself from branch to branch.
- What does it live on? - Alice asked, with great curiosity.
- Sap and sawdust, - said the Gnat. - Go on with the list. Alice
looked up at the Rocking-horse-fly with great interest, and
made up her mind that it must have been just repainted, it looked so
bright and sticky; and then she went on.
- And there's the Dragon-fly.
- Look on the branch above your head, - said the Gnat, - and there
you'll find a snap-dragon-fly. Its body is made of plum-pudding, its wings
of holly-leaves, and its head is a raisin burning in brandy.
- And what does it live on?
- Frumenty and mince pie, - the Gnat replied; - and it makes is nest
in a Christmas box.
- And then there's the Butterfly, - Alice went on, after she had
taken a good look at the insect with its head on fire, and had thought to
herself, - I wonder if that's the reason insects are so fond of flying
into candles - because they want to turn into Snap-dragon-flies!
- Crawling at your feet, - said the Gnat (Alice drew her feet back in
some alarm), - you may observe a Bread-and-Butterfly. Its wings are thin
slices of Bread-and-butter, its body is a crust, and its head is a lump of
sugar.
- And what does IT live on?
- Weak tea with cream in it. A new difficulty came into Alice's head.
- Supposing it couldn't find
any? - she suggested.
- Then it would die, of course.
- But that must happen very often, - Alice remarked thoughtfully.
- It always happens, - said the Gnat. After this, Alice was silent
for a minute or two, pondering. The Gnat
amused itself meanwhile by humming round and round her head: at last it
settled again and remarked, - I suppose you don't want to lose your name?
- No, indeed, - Alice said, a little anxiously.
- And yet I don't know, - the Gnat went on in a careless tone: - only
think how convenient it would be if you could manage to go home without
it! For instance, if the governess wanted to call you to your lessons, she
would call out "come here - ," and there she would have to leave off,
because there wouldn't be any name for her to all, and of course you
wouldn't have to go, you know.
- That would never do, I'm sure, - said Alice: - the governess would
never think of excusing me lessons for that. If she couldn't remember my
name, she'd call me "Miss!" as the servants do.
- Well. if she said "Miss," and didn't say anything more, - the Gnat
remarked, - of course you'd miss your lessons. That's a joke. I wish YOU
had made it.
- Why do you wish _I_ had made it? - Alice asked. - It's a very bad
one.
But the Gnat only sighed deeply, while two large tears came rolling
down its cheeks.
- You shouldn't make jokes, - Alice said, - if it makes you so
unhappy.
Then came another of those melancholy little sighs, and this time the
poor Gnat really seemed to have sighed itself away, for, when Alice looked
up, there was nothing whatever to be seen on the twig, and, as she was
getting quite chilly with sitting still so, long she got up and walked on.
She very soon came to an open field, with a wood on the other side of
it: it looked much darker than the last wood, and Alice felt a LITTLE
timid about going into it. However, on second thoughts, she made up her
mind to go on: - for I certainly won't go BACK, - she thought to herself,
and this was the only way to the Eighth Square.
- This must be the wood, she said thoughtfully to herself, - where
things have no names. I wonder what'll become of MY name when I go in? I
shouldn't like to lose it at all - because they'd have to give me another,
and it would be almost certain to be an ugly one. But then the fun would
be, trying to find the creature that had got my old name! That's just like
the advertisements, you know, when people lose dogs - "ANSWERS TO THE NAME
OF - DASH: - HAD ON A BRASS COLLAR" - just fancy calling everything you
met "Alice," till one of them answered! Only they wouldn't answer at all,
if they were wise.
She was rambling on in this way when she reached the wood: it looked
very cool and shady. - Well, at any rate it's a great comfort, she said as
she stepped under the trees, - after being so hot, to get into the - into
WHAT? - she went on, rather surprised at not being able to think of the
word. - I mean to get under the - under the under THIS, you know! -
putting her hand on the trunk of the tree.
- What DOES it call itself, I wonder? I do believe it's got no name
why, to be sure it hasn't!
She stood silent for a minute, thinking: then she suddenly began
again. - Then it really HAS happened, after all! And how, who am I? I WILL
remember, if I can! I'm determined to do it! - But being determined didn't
help much, and all she could say, after a great deal of puzzling, was, -
L, I KNOW it begins with L!
Just then a Fawn came wandering by: it looked at Alice with its large
gentle eyes, but didn't seem at all frightened. - Here then! Here then! -
Alice said, as he held out her hand and tried to stroke it; but it only
started back a little, and then stood looking at her again.
- What do you call yourself?
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